{"id":13,"date":"2008-03-20T08:44:35","date_gmt":"2008-03-20T16:44:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/?p=13"},"modified":"2008-03-20T08:44:35","modified_gmt":"2008-03-20T16:44:35","slug":"joesmith-this-week-in-the-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/?p=13","title":{"rendered":"joesmith: This Week in the News"},"content":{"rendered":"

This Week in the News, April 8\u00e2\u20ac\u201c15, 2007<\/span>\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

by joesmith\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

A corpse in a cowboy hat spews bile at the mic.\u00c2\u00a0
\nThis time, he says he’s an idiot. \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

A drove of men crowd around a bombed car in Karballah.\u00c2\u00a0
\nAll look excited. None sad.\u00c2\u00a0
\n14 take pictures with their cell phones. The rest want a camera.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

What does the Titanic have to do with Jesus?\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

You’re a screen upon which all else is projected.\u00c2\u00a0
\nYou wear your image of an image that looks almost like you.\u00c2\u00a0
\nEverybody watches. Nobody watches. You squint in such light.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Let the dead stay dead. Allow rumors of resurrection.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

This method will back up all of your profile data for each profile in the profile data location, as well as the registry.dat or profiles.ini file that records the profile location. All profile data will be backed up at once, together.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

James Cameron. Hubris. Noun.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

You won’t speak to one of the several hundred of faces you glimpse every day.
\nSee, they’re pictures.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

“The schizophrenic is not, as generally claimed, characterized by his loss of touch with reality, but by the obscene proximity to and total instantaneous with things, this overexposure to the transparency of the world.”\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Don Ho dies at 76. Hawaii will never be the same.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

You see more of them if you don’t leave the house.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

The body of Christ is a thin thin wafer. Stamped into a perfect circle.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

1 in 4 Americans have a mental disease.\u00c2\u00a0
\nThe other 3 are sick from thought.\u00c2\u00a0
\n1 in 2 have a broken part of some sort.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Baker of Jesus crackers. There’s a job.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Jackie Robinson. Somebody to believe in.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

A woman in Idaho has had convulsive hiccups for 8 months. “I do believe in the power of Christ,” she says. “I’ve seen miracles. Mrah-rhhrrpp. Happen.”\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

C’mon, plaster Jesus, jump off that cross against the castle, snatch the only man who gets to talk, shake him around in one hand, scare us.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

“In spite of himself the schizophrenic is open to everything….”\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

The total value of player salaries who wore number 42 was 147 million.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Or twitch a foot.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

“He is the obscene victim of the world’s obscenity.”\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

A state trooper in Kentucky was driving in a rainstorm\u00c2\u00a0when he hit a horse and rider on an unlighted rural highway.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Tell us a parable.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

The rider was charged with DUI of a non-motorized vehicle.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Tell us you meant something else.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

The horse was euthanized at the scene.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

C’mon, you can do it. You’re 9 feet tall.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Week in the News, April 8\u00e2\u20ac\u201c15, 2007\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 by joesmith\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 A corpse in a cowboy hat spews bile at the mic.\u00c2\u00a0 This time, he says he’s an idiot. \u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 A drove of men crowd around a bombed car in Karballah.\u00c2\u00a0 All look excited. None sad.\u00c2\u00a0 14 take pictures with their cell phones. The rest want […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emergencypress.org\/almanac\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}